A Family Discussion

A Family Discussion 

The day started at a quiet breakfast table and the small talk never once came close to, “why was I there”.  Shortly after the meal Marie and her dad were having a heated discussion out side on the lawn.  I watched through the window for a few minutes and then decided I had to do something, so I opened the door and walked out to the couple.  I don’t remember the exact words, but I indicated if they were talking about me and plans to marry Marie, I felt I should be in on the discussion.  Things cooled a little and Arnie expressed his concern about letting his daughter go off into the world without an established wage earner and no designated place to live in a car that needed fixing.  I could see his concern, particularly with his protective nature.  We talked for quite sometime and laid our plans out on the table.  Eventually he came around to accepting the idea that his daughter had reached the age of marriage, setting up her own home and raising a family.  As he got to know me, he realized I wasn’t just an opportunist taking advantage of his daughter.

Then the next shoe dropped.  Marie hadn’t made arrangements for the church, a reception or announcements.  I got the impression she wasn’t that sure it was going to happen.  My letters during the summer had been filled with positive ideas and comments about the coming wedding.  I had to give her the benefit of the doubt.  She may have had an experience in her life where her hopes were dashed that made her suspicious of it happening again.  We put that all aside and got to the problems that needed to be solved.   We joked about the easiest solution was just to elope, but her mother, Eva would have nothing to do with that idea.  She wanted her daughter to have a church wedding that would be a memory as time went on.  Marie was dead set against inviting the relatives on Eva’s side and there were none on Arnie’s side, so that put it back to a church wedding with immediate family.  Eva badly wanted her brother and sisters to be there, but Marie promised to boycott the event if they showed up.  I could tell Eva would continue to try to convince Marie to give in on this issue.  In the meantime Arnie had accepted our plan and was doing what he could to help. It had been quite a day and I was back on the sofa that night.

* Taken from "Which Road Should I Follow?, Volume 2, Roles and Responsibilities of an Educator", an autobiography by Edwin K. Hill.